In the beginning of our life we see our father through mother’s eyes. She is kind of a mirror reflecting him to us.

I dont know how it feels being a son, but I will share my opinion about being a daughter. Father is a first man that girls feel love and addiction – his figure, shape, character, behaviour towards mother is  being recorded into our subconsciousness. He is a very  important figure, his arrival at home is a  ceremony and brings happiness.

Years pass and maybe his arrival does not bring so much happiness home as it did before. It might be a relationship problem between  mother and father, which affects whole  atmoshpere of the house. Girls, under the feminist instict rule mostly  support mother even without knowing the real reason of bitterness.

Years  pass, we grow up and we start dating men that  are similar our father in some cases. Because our mind is looking for the  same treatment, we  as a woman receive what we  think we  deserve. If father was a kind of a man who brought mother flowers, perfumes, taking out and looking after we meet the same  type of men in our life. It is not only our mind, our whole energy is attracting the similar type of men that is coded in our brain, does not matter if we like him or not. If father was unkind, angry, jealous man then we meet similar men who will continue torturing us. Some girls have crashes in teachers or doctors as it gives them the feeling of security  and being cared for that they probably did not get from their father.

I read some books about happiness, it said daughters subconsciously choose life that their mother chose just because they dont want to betray their mother to be more happier or different than their moms.

The minute I started  to evaluate my father through my own heart and started to dig my mothers usual habbits, I understood the problem was not in father only.

It took me a while to understand him, to forgive him for what I misunderstood, consequently the men I met started being different than before.

Sometimes all we need is just love and care, however in most relationships people give more than is expected and both sides are not satisfied because it is too much attention or pressure.

Even the worst father deserves a thank you for participating in process giving us a life. It is so much valuable being in life, experiencing sweetness and sadness of life, feeling how others feel, being in position of different people at times.

Dear mothers, please do not judge fathers next to your kids. If you arent happy with your choice children shouldnt be affected by this, as they didnt choose him as their father. Let your daughters love and appreciate the  first man of their life, you dont know how much it unfluences their future life…

I am happy after 30 years I managed being more or less friendly with my father. I experienced anger, fear, hatred at times but now I feel much better. We had very bad fights because he didnt want to give me my own freedom. After so many struggles, he now can feel my love, he can cuddle me more  than in my childhood. Obviously, love between mother and father gave them power to struggle together all the  difficulties of life and still being under the same roof. That is why, for me it is important to fall in love and then share  life with someone else.

Yesterday, I sent him a birthday message full of thankfullness, telling how much I appreciate  how he tried hard to earn and support us, never let us feel hunger/ difficulty in hard war times of  1990. There were some other words that I cant write here. He wrote back saying that he was all in tears and he felt proud of me.

It needs some courage to be able to express our feelings at times, but the minute we give up on our ego and connect with our heart things start blossoming.

There will be someone behind  the door waiting for your knock , sometimes all you need is just a pure intention towards being fare, looking for positive in everyone. The doors will be opened themselves…

I saw this photo in google, a father, a daugher and a bicycle. I rememebered when I was 5, my father was angry at mother, as she made his “favorite-the only one-baby son” cry, he throw my bike in the yard  ten meters far and broke it. That was the first and last bicycle of my life with three wheels.

Dear father, I forgive you for breaking it, as I am going to get my second bike with two wheels soon to wonder in Minsk 🙂

Cheers!